These are conversations I had recently with my friend Rebecca, and I decided they were too good not to share. Also, I figured it was about damn time I wrote another blog post, and since I don’t have anything interesting to report, this is going to have to do.
*a couple weeks ago, on the phone*
Rebecca: I got some stuff at a yard sale today.
Me: Oh yeah? Like what?
Rebecca: Well, there were a few things I wanted for my apartment, but the woman was getting ready to close up shop, so she insisted I take a bunch of stuff. So I have some purses, and some Catholic figurines….
Me: You bought Catholic figurines?
Rebecca: They were included.
Me: Well, what are they?
Rebecca: There’s one of this woman kneeling down with a sheep…..and another woman with a halo thing over her head. And this guy in a fancy purple robe…..I think he’s a wizard.
Me:…..A Catholic wizard? Wait…..are there two other dudes who are dressed kind of like him?
Me: Um, dude. They aren’t wizards. They’re wise men. And the woman with the halo is the Virgin Mary. I’m pretty sure you just accidentally bought a nativity scene. How did you not know that?
Rebecca: Because I’m Jewish?
Me: Oh. Right. Good point.
*Yesterday, after coming over to Rebecca’s and seeing her purchases displayed on the side table*
Me: Hey, is this your nativity scene?
Rebecca: Yeah. It’s great, huh?
Me: Oh! You didn’t tell me you got the manger too….Where’s the baby Jesus?
Rebecca: He might be in the freezer with one of the wise men.
Me: ……..why is the baby Jesus in the freezer?
Rebecca: To kill any germs on him.
Me: Of course.
Rebecca: Here. Here’s a frozen wise man. *rummages around some more in the freezer* Oh. Maybe I didn’t get Jesus…..
Me: So…you bought an entire Catholic nativity scene, minus the baby Jesus? So everyone’s just standing around an empty manger?
Rebecca: Yeah. It’s a Jewish nativity scene. We’re still waiting for him.
Me: That actually is kind of appropriate.